Surprise surprise, the blue suit brigade thinks making energy affordable is a shit idea

To the surprise of literally no one, three blokes in blue suits who all work advising multi-national energy companies on how to maximise profits are throwing a tantrum at having unaffordable energy made affordable again.

The Albanese government is on the verge of passing legislation that would see the government price cap the energy sector in an effort to curb the rising cost of household energy costs.

The move, which would ease pressure on the cost of living issues crippling, particularly young people across the country, has been predictably slammed by the energy companies and the multitude of consultants they employ.

"This is an absolute outrage; vaping is actually good for you, tastes great and boosts concentration," said Gerrard from Clinton Advisory, who seemingly briefly forgot which client he was representing.

If the proposed legislation is successful, it will force a temporary 12-month price cap of $12 a gigajoule for the modest amount of domestic uncontracted gas next year.

More contentious elements of the legislation, however, include the provision for the government to indefinitely determine a “reasonable price” for gas on the east coast of Australia.

"This is by far the most reckless policy an Australian Government has made in recent memory", commented Saul from Sandor Energy Finance, who later suggested that the small margins on the poor old producers will be so oppressive that new supply could become unfeasible, and potentially force companies to shut down.

Producers like Woodside, who last financial year recorded profits of over $2 billion. The company is one of three that holds a monopoly of 90% market share in gas production.

"I reckon they'll be fine, chief" Albo responded, probably.